The Country Pundit

Macy's 2006

OK, so it's the usual tradition! The National Broadcasting Company presents the 80th Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and as usual, I'll be providing live commentary.

0909 - A touch behind schedule for me, but nonetheless, here we are. At least Katie Couric is gone, huzzah!

0910 - Hooray, Ali Larter; she's a fetching actress on a program (Heroes) that I don't watch.

0915 - Too bad that I can't actually hear Al Roker.

0917 - OK, now that I can finally get seated in the middle of this song-and-dance routine, hopefully coverage will be restored.

0919 - We like the blonds in the red and light blue. A Chorus Line, eh. I hate this Glad commercial, though. Something about Meredith Viera seems forced, though. "As a mom", blah blah. We don't need a national mother telling me what to think. On the other hand, it's better to have her than Couric.

0921 - Gee, I might actually wind up being interested in Superman Returns, with a trailer like that.

0922- Wow, ER is still on. Back to CPW & 76th Street! The question I have to ask is, Why do I care about Telemundo? It was amusing to see Viera muff the pronunciation of that network; it's supposed to be Tele-moon-do. Oh well.

0925 - How the Grinch Stole Christmas on stage? This could be interesting. Cindy Lou Who is, as always, vaguely creepy. Apparently, Max, the Grinch's dog, is now old and recalling his life with the Grinch. This chap can sing, but he can't beat Thurl Ravenscroft.

0929 - I wouldn't exactly call Martin Short a comedy superstar, but whatever. I utterly loathe these annoying Citi commercials. I regret that the parade is being simulcast on the competing satellite network. On the other hand, perhaps I'll buy Dead Man's Chest.

0933 - Someone please shoot Martin Short's helicopter down. This segment started out OK, but ugh. The Color Purple means nothing to me, alas. The costumes look nice, though.

0937 - Never heard of Sienna/Sierra, but hooray for Julie Andrews! Meanwhile, we gouge our eardrums at yet another stupid commercial from a stupidly-named company, i.e. Embarq. If common sense starts here, where does the spell-checker start?

0940 - Whoah, Daryl Hall & John Oates. I thought this was 2006, not 1986. Of course, if it was 1986, I could be celebrating a Hasbro-centric Christmas instead of the currently blah one that I envision.

0943 - I still can't really hear Al Roker. Denise van Outen? Great, the British are now dumping their TV rejects on us; thanks for nothing, England!

0951 - I like these Discover Card ads with people feeding the scissors. Meanwhile, I don't care about a revival of Grease.

0953 - Yay, the Rockettes! I liked the old top hat, tux and leggings better, but that may be as old as thirty years. Nobody's complaining about this display, certainly. These gals are always rather precise, and that's a good thing. Doing this kind of thing in rain can't be easy. I wonder if those shoes they're wearing have any sort of anti-skid material on the bottom.

0955 - Julie Andrews sings? This oughta be nice; her on half or a quarter of a voice is still better than most people, so this could be good. Meanwhile, it seems like CBS has a competing telecast. Gah, I hate this rip-off of The Christmas Story for a Cingular ad. I want a Red Ryder BB gun, not some third-rate phone.

"My place is here with the snow people"? Heh. Meanwhile, we're getting interrupted for some sort of local news. The reporter is a good-looking woman, but she's obviously just been called out of bed.

0959 - We cut to the CBS telecast, because the local losers won't go away. OK, so NBC maintains its superior broadcast image quality. CBS, you're pathetic for live coverage, despite having Elizabeth Vargas who's better looking than Meredith Viera.

1003 - Hooray! I saw Virginia's stamp, but the idiots on NBC wouldn't zoom in on it. That Federal eagle is impressive, but these children are annoying.

1007 - OK, so Dame Julie is on gooseback, and she's actually singing. This is a good thing. Ballet is something that I don't get. You've got to love that British accent.

1009 - Humpty Dumpty, huh? Heh, I like this one. It looks absolutely miserable out there in NYC. Why wouldn't it be? It's NYC, home of the great MFY. This Patriot marching band is nifty looking; I wish my local high school band could come up with something as cool. C'mon, NBC, give 'em a title card at least.

1013 - I had a Chatter telephone. It looks like the precipitation might be slightly solidifying.

1015 - It looks like NBC might be speeding this one up; no one segment is really long. Too bad for Mattel I'm not a pre-pubescent girl, or this Barbie float might be interesting.

1020 - Interesting that they've got the original Queen of Macy's there; she's 101 or something, and we don't really get to see much. Yay for Tara Conner; this steamboat...gee, switch straight to some band from Tucson, Arizona. They're doing a Copland piece. I don't think I care for this arrangement, but no matter.

1024 - Sandi Patty singing Oklahoma's praises. Yawn.

1028 - Meh, Hispanic ballet. This is America, not Spain. I wouldn't suggest that Jamie Foxx or John Legend are worthwhile guests on Sesame Street. Neither's Matt Lauer, but nevermind.

1031 - Big Bird's teaching kids to read? Good, because I don't suppose the teaching professionals we're paying are doing it. OK, cut to another band. Strongsville HS of Strongville, Ohio will now entertain us.

1036 - Yes, Maria Sharapova! There's reason to watch this after all.

1042 - Missed an HS band and I'm about asleep with Viera's attempts to quote Spanish. Dora bores me.

1046 - Yay, Sarah McLachlan coming up! Can't care about Tutenstein, but Sarah can catch my attention. I have to get her Christmas album.

1050 - A Cartoon Network program about displaced imaginary friends? If I was oh, twenty years younger than I am, it could be interesting. The purple guy sounds like the chap who talks to 'Kate Monster' when singing "The Internet Is For Porn" from Avenue Q. Singing Beatles covers doesn't work for me, though.

Scooby-Doo with super powers? Somewhere, Messrs. Hanna & Barbera are spinning in their graves. Funny, I've never heard of Chris Brown; he's obviously insignificant.

1054 - The Donald Trump ad was amusing.

1056 - Never heard of Ciara either, unless it's been in high-speed passes on the XM dial. It doesn't appear that I'm missing anything, either. Good that she's dismissed with. Hooray for the Spirit of Central, Lawrence Central HS band from Indiana.

1103 - What, there was an actual ad with the good-looking Calvin Klein representative? She's a babe, eh.

1105 - This is a funny commercial, and a good use of the Federal dollar. "Someone you know may be a numismatist", or however it's spelled. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, meh. The NYPD Marching Band is impressive; you've got to love it. Even if they are from the City of New York. Energizer Bunny for the win!

1107 - They should have put Pennsylvania Station or Grand Central Terminal on that float, along with the World Trade Center towers. We now relocate to hide from the horrific spectacle of Hall & Oates. (And to think that I liked them back in the 1980s!) I think Oates had a mustache back then, but since I've never actually seen one of their albums, I can't be sure.

1109 - Hmm, a light-equipped Pikachu. Well, that's something new. Gotta catch 'em all! Hess trucks are fun, although I've never owned one. Heck, I'm not even sure if there's a Hess within an hour's drive of me. I'd rather see a Pennsylvania Railroad float than one celebration the trucking industry, though.

1114 - I like the Globetrotters! I've seen them at least once, and I always enjoy it. Their on-court product is superior to the NBA, in my opinion. 21,500-340 is an enviable record over the course of 80 years, even better than the late Red Auerbach, whose passing we note with regret.

1115 - Never heard of Cheyenne, except as the HQ of NORAD. I don't see the mascot of the Pats on this float, so I must have missed them somehow. Is this girl anything other than Hilary Duff with a guitar? At least we've got Super Grover! Heh, getting the nose mashed by the helmet; that's that got hurt.

1122 - Thanks for cheering us up! We all need ads about Darfur! This trailer for Identity is not interesting, but the Heartland Hoedowners are. I wouldn't consider Nebraska the 'Heartland', but whatever.

1125 - Yay, it's Sarah! I just hope we get the particular and distinctive McLachlan voice, but so far no joy. She's got the long-haired look going, which is not the way I was introduced to her in the mid-to-late 1990s, but whatever. Hopefully she's happy, healthy, and prosperous.

Hmm, it's Mr. Potatohead. Why not Darth Tater? We thank the Potato Board for their sponsorship.

1127 - Who's Renee Fleming? The Liberty float looks good. However, this is why I'm not fond of high-end sopranos; they often render the lyrics undiscernible. If I didn't know exactly what she was singing, I wouldn't have a clue as to what she was singing. Jay Nordlinger would have a heart attack over this, but it's an honest complaint I've had for a while. Gimme a clear alto any day!

Balloons of Washington, Jefferson, and Franklin? This Will Smith movie might be watchable, if someone else pays.

1133 - Eek, I thought it was the University of Tennessee cheerleaders or something. UCA&DA cheerleaders are not holding my attention.

1138 - Ack, Barry Manilow. I'm afraid! I like the float, though;, despite the fact that the Yankees are the ones featured. It could have been the Mets, though.

1143 - Why is it that all Broadway-style singers sound alike? It's creepy, to be honest. Sure it makes for complete interchangeability, but where's the value of individual performants? OK, the Mountain Home (AR) band is not so bad, but I can't get excited about Chuck Berry arranged for a high school band.

1146 Mylee Ceerus? That's funny, Meereediith. I've been exposed to the relentless promotion of this Cyrus daughter at Wal-Mart (Come see my first time! Er, my first concert!") and even I managed to know how her name is pronounced. Of course, I doubt Meredith Viera would admit to watching Disney or going into a Wal-Mart. Oh well; at least the Build-a-Bear people are sponsoring a float.

1149 - As it was once said, "There isn't anywhere I wouldn't take a train", or something like that. it's always good to see a Berkshire in the public eye. Miss Grant is not unattractive; she looks like a singing Martha MacCallum.' It's vaguely disturbing to see that girl in the wheelchair paraded about, but I suppose someone's got a forgiving theory in mind.

1152 - This band isn't half bad, but what can you expect from adult professionals? Next up, Santa Claus for the conclusion.

1158 - Yay, it's Santa Claus! I suppose that's it, and we're off to the National Dog Show, which I won't be watching. Meredith Viera, you fail.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to all of y'all.

Posted by Country Pundit at November 23, 2006 09:18 AM | TrackBack