December 03, 2007

OTB's 2008 Season Wishlist Response

(Note the lazy minimalist title of this post. We at TCP are very avant garde.)

So, Aaress over at On the Baseline has assembled a wish list for the coming WTA campaign. I'm nowhere near as well informed on the subject of tennis and will probably look amateurish, but I figured I'd compile something anyways:

1. A muzzle or something for Maria Sharapova. Seriously. I hold out faint hope that someone, somewhere, will lose it and scream something on the order of, "SHUT UP", with a few choice expletives thrown in for regional flavor.

One is sorely tempted to take that annoying dog/feather duster/whatever from the Canon PowerShot commercials and stuff it in her mouth. When one actively thinks about playing Virtua Tennis 3 on mute due to facing Sharapova in an upcoming match, well, there's a problem. And it's not me.

Bud Collins, not surprisingly, says it better.

2. The Third Coming of Martina Hingis. I can't say that I've ever sincerely cheered for the Swiss Miss on her own merit, but if memory serves, she was an original thorn-in-the-side of the Williams sisters. That's got to be worth something, and she's not a bipedal artillery piece. Besides, she makes me laugh. Perhaps some sort of exhibition schedule, assuming anyone would play with her.

3. Best wishes for Lindsay Davenport. I don't know if that's going to work out, and I'm not betting the farm, or any other property, real or personal, on the subject.

4. A return to form for Mary Pierce. This is an even longer shot than Lindsay Davenport, but hey, it's a wish list for a reason.

The last two don't relate exactly to the WTA tour, but are relevant nonetheless:

5. Top Spin 3. With a mode for rank amateurs, like me. I need the AI to have a setting equivalent to "Slack-Jawed Moron", and then perhaps I will enjoy the game. That, and have a chance to last beyond a first-round appearance in any tournament. (Yes, I'm awful at that game.)

EDIT: And by the way, how about on-the-fly character editing? EA figured it out for Tiger Woods '07, so you can too. Neither of the current generation games seem to allow for this, and it's annoying.

6. The Clean Air Fairy to visit Beijing and clean that stinking hole up so that a certain Belgian (assuming she's not a Wallonian or a Frenchwoman by that point; see Brussels Journal for more details) can defend her Olympic title.


So yeah, as you can see, I got nothing.

Posted by Country Pundit at December 3, 2007 12:24 AM

Great follow-up and thanks for the link!

I don't think we've seen the last of Martina Hingis. Once the dust settles, she'll probably be back, hopping around the world playing exhibitions and collecting hefty appearance fees.

Those Canon commercials almost drove me nuts this year. Dulce had better not be making a second appearance in 2008 or my tv screen may be a bit more banged up than usual.

I've never been to Beijing and in fact, never heard about their air pollution problem until people started talking about the Olympics. What is causing all the bad air and can this even be remedied in eight months?

Posted by: Aaress at December 4, 2007 12:08 PM

Aaress, thanks for your response!

In short, industrialization is fouling Red China's air and environment in general. According to the Wikipedia entry on the PRC, they are considered a 'developing nation' and therefore are not held to carbon emission reduction standards. The Red Chinese use a lot of coal as well, and that does create a bit of a problem.

I'm no environmental scientist, but I feel reasonably confident in saying that there's no way in the world that the Red Chinese can clean up their environment in time for Beijing '08. That is, even if they wanted to.

Posted by: The Country Pundit at December 5, 2007 01:35 AM

Thanks TCP for the answer!

I'm with you - if the problem is that bad, eight months is not near enough time to clear the air up.

It'll be a pity if the athletes are deterred from competing because of this. It's one thing to stay away from the Games because of security risks (2002/2004), but it is a whole other can of worms if it is because of air pollution.

Of course, my heart also goes out to the poor Chinese people who have to breath the air in every single day of their lives.

Posted by: Aaress at December 13, 2007 11:01 AM