January 02, 2008

Dear Cadillac

I personally applaud the signing of Kate Walsh as your current pitchwoman for the Cadillac CTS sedan. It's certainly a better move than the "The Caddy that Zigs" line for the unlamented Catera.

That being said, your design studio failed. Like the proverbial poor marksman, you keep missing the target. If I had the income to consider a Cadillac sedan, I wouldn't. They're ugly, just like the entire Cadillac line has been for some time, and your continuing production of the Escalade is an affront to aesthetic design. If it can't go off-road, it's not a sport utility vehicle.

Anyways, the two ads in question:

To be totally honest, I'd listen to Kate Walsh read the phone book. I've never seen either of her ABC medical programs---and never will---but she's easily the best from either in terms of purely audio-visual appeal. Well, once you get past the fact that she is/was a smoker---either the lungs will go or the looks will, on an accelerated basis.

Kate asks, "[T]he real question is, when you turn your car on, does it return the favor?"

Even you and your voice couldn't get me to say 'yes' if the vehicle in question was a Cadillac of the current century. Bring me a vintage Allanté in mint condition and overhauled to acceptable performance standards, a finalized divorce, yourself, and we'll talk of favorite things and starting cars.


Addendum: I didn't know that the Catera line managed to snare Cindy Crawford to pitch for it. All that, and it still was an eyesore. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Posted by Country Pundit at January 2, 2008 10:04 PM