November 15, 2004

The Canadian Alternative

After the disappointing results of the 2000 post-election period (i.e. Alec Baldwin not leaving for another country) I had learned to discount the anguished protests of those who promised to leave if the evil George Bush was re-elected.

Well, it appears that I'm to be dumbfounded: Apparently, people are kind of taking it seriously, for once. According to CNN, Canadian immigration lawyer Rudi Kischer has set up canadianalternative.com as a way for disaffected liberals to learn about Our Neighbor to the North.

The entire article's worth reading, whether for rage or mirth, so head on over and check it out. To whet one's appetite, a brief recall of and commentary upon an excerpt:

Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:

1. Canada has universal public health care.

Yes, but you're living longer in Canada. Who would want to do that?

2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.

Canada barely has any troops in Canada, much anywhere else that Kofi Annan hasn't ordered them to. This is meaningful how?

3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.

Enjoy Third World economies with First World prices! Meanwhile, watch your manufacturing base high-tail it to the People's Republic of China. That is, if Canada had any manufacturing base other than Labatt's or Molson.

4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.

And I bet we've got designs on the ones that don't, so you'd best hurry up there.

5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.

Peh. Cheech & Chong shouldn't be allowed to replace Bob & Doug.

6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.

Terminate all you want! I'm sure the hedonists will make more.

7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.

And thus no protection from Trudeaupian government when HRH Pierre decides to send the troops into the streets to enforce the general will of the people, as divined---no pun intended---by him.

8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.

Considering that the UN lets genocide in Rwanda, child prostitution in Asia, and lots of other things slide, do you really want to trumpet their evaluation?

9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.

Yes friends, no ultimate responsibility for violent crime! Step right up and get your cushy life sentence for mass murder and bizarre criminal activity!

10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.

And hasn't had a serious blue water navy since the 1950s. For a two-ocean modern state, this is unforgivable.

Posted by Country Pundit at November 15, 2004 12:20 PM
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