The following text was recovered from the copy desk at al-Jazeera, the Arab world's premiere satellite news channel. Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
"Brothers! A great victory has been won for our cause! We have struck a great blow against the Western invaders, by killing the leader of an insidious Western logistics network. With the death of CARE worker Margaret Hassan, we strike another blow for the re-establishment of the Caliphate and the perpetual reign of Islam uber alles. Er, over all. The infidel woman's organization, CARE---which is not to be confused with our American propaganda arm, CAIR---was guilty of distributing aid and relief to the suffering peoples of Iraq, and for this her sentence was death.
Meanwhile, in lesser news, a meaningless American victory was temporarily achieved in the unimportant city of Fallujah. There are no Americans in Fallujah. Even now, they are committing suicide upon the walls of the city. That is, they would be committing suicide, if they were in the city in the first place, which they are not. We now return you to our regular programming, "The Deep Love of Mohammed for His Camel".
This publication, of course, is readily impressed with the martial prowess of the Base of Jihad group, and commends them for their daring victory against a dangerous enemy. After all, it's very hard to put a pistol against the head of a blindfolded captive; it's one of the most difficult shots in the Terrorist Executions for Dirtbags handbook. Also, I'd like to commend Base of Jihad for knowing its strengths. Soldiers and Marines in Fallujah were too much, so they scaled back their goals to something those camel-buggering dirtbags could handle, like an outnumbered and outgunned old woman.
Prayers for Margaret Hassan and her family, and damnation for the Islamists responsible.
Posted by Country Pundit at November 16, 2004 02:28 PM